King of the Hill

KING OF THE HILL/FOX/1997-2010 (Damage Shins)

Colonel Cotton Lindal Hill (Toby Huss) Hank Hill’s father, a veteran of World War II, now living in Arlen, Texas.


Cotton Hill complaining to his son, Hank

During the war, Cotton was hit by a spray of Japanese machine gun fire while fighting in the Pacific Islands. The damage ripped off his shins and consequently, the Army doctors reattached his feet to the remaining portion of legs. This gave Cotton a shorter stature and an awkward waddle of a gait. Cotton was 6′ 4″ (1.93 m) with his shins, 5′ 0″ even (1.52m) without).

“I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the Nazzy’s in Italy, and they shipped us to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer], only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the sun came a Tojo Zero and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give ’em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! So I rushed ’em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat ’em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees.”

Cotton’s personality is loud, obnoxious and disrespectful to women. It’s not known whether his bad temper and politically incorrect attitude are a result of the trauma from his war wounds or whether he’s always just been such a jerk.

He retired from the military as Colonel, often boasts of his killing 50 (“fitty”) men, and expects everyone to “hop to” when he’s in his presence.

HIs second wife, was Deirdre “Didi” Hill, a  younger, ditzy, hospital volunteer whom Cotton smacks on the rump when she passes him by.

Although Hank Hill is his first son, Cotton fathered a second son whom he calls “Good Hank” after he divorced Hank’s mother. He also had an illegitimate half-Japanese son named Junichiro.

Cotton died after visiting a Japanese restaurant. His family declined to follow through on Cotton’s deathbed request of mailing his head to the Emperor of Japan.

Here is his obituary from the Arlen Bystander newspaper.

“Cotton Hill, age unknown, World War II veteran, died Sunday in a Texas VA hospital. Hill suffered from several injuries ranging from four rusty bullets lodged in his heart from his military service, a broken hip and torn ligaments in his ankle-knees, to an infection in his esophagus and severe burns caused by a freak shrimp accident that occurred earlier this week at Tokyaki’s Japanese restaurant. Hill leaves behind sons Hank Hill and G.H. (short for “Good Hank”); daughter-in-law Peggy Hill; grandson Bobby Hill; ex-wife Tilly; second wife Didi; first love and former Japanese lover Michiko; an illegitimate Japanese son, Junichiro; and nephew Dusty Hill (of band ZZ Top).”

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